Never Say Never Again on Prime Video— Your Room or Mine

Jay (Vijayasimha BR)
6 min readMar 14, 2022

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80s — still going strong with the painted on posters. source

Years ago, I remember seeing this movie. I popped in the rental DVD and started watching. The movie just starts without the classic gun barrel sequence, and I thought, it was odd. Those were times when I had very less movie knowledge. Then, suddenly, I saw Sean Connery running through a jungle, looking all old and tired.

But then, I kept watching. The movie had all the usual elements. James Bond. gadgets. super hot women. Huge massive set pieces. I enjoyed it. Now, that I have watched it again as part of my james bond movie marathon, I enjoyed it again.

Age Aware

Wait, that lady in the top left with the gun, is not really in the movie doing that.

The most recent bond movie that I watched, For Your Eyes Only, was jarring for me for several reasons. The primary reason is the low key story, and the incredible ageing of Roger Moore. I don't know it it is just me, but, Moore looks way too old, even though he is only in his 50s. There are still 2 more movies to go with Moore. So, I am not sure how much more jarring it will get for me.

Along with oldness, was the story, which was clearly aimed at an younger man. With no bombastic bondian elements to distract us, we are stuck watching Moore and his endless body doubles do all the action. With the rest of the cast also looking extremely young, athletic — the villains, bond girls and every body else, it almost looks like an old guy running around in young people places.

At least to that effect, this movie, starts off by acknowledging Connery’s advanced age. If anything, a huge plot of the movie is about reminding James Bond that he might be too old for the game. This makes it far more easy to accept Connery in the story. Also, the villains and henchmen and henchwomen are also suitable middle aged.

Also, the bond girls, they are also old-ish. Not old, old. We don't get old bond girls till the Craig movies, but, here they are in their 30s and not dumb. Barbara Carrera is a terrifying, psychotic assassin with skills on par with Bond. Kim Basinger looks like a teenager, but, man, she is in such great shape. I thought she was in her early 20s in the 1989 Batman, despite being in her late 30s.

Really, what sells this movie to me is the almost age appropriate casting when compared to the most recent Moore movie. I am fairly certain Moore probably wanted to quit, but the producers kept pushing him.

Thunderball Redux

Old Sean Connery is still way too hot man.

The movie, and its presence in the bond collection is unusual. I am surprised that this is even part of the official James Bond collection on Prime Video. What we have is essentially a remake of the earlier movie Thunderball, which also starred Sean Connery, some 15 years ago.

Now, did I feel bored or left out? Actually no.

For one thing, I have been watching James Bond movies non-stop, and I am starting to think, all the bond movies are the same. I mean, the bond movies, even the Craig movies, rarely divert from the standard bond formula. Secondly, the movie has so many things different, it’s essentially a different story.

Once again, Blofeld, is up to his antics! I love this guy, in a fictional sense. He has stolen nukes and wants to use it for world wide destruction. Unlike the previous adaptation of this story, here we have a more fun, jovial style of presentation. For one thing, Largo was like this dull guy before. Here, the new Largo is funny and warm. He seems like a really good boss and everybody seems to like him.

Yes, there is the evilness just under the surface. But, he’s not dull in any sense. Also, we are once again back to having dangerous hench women, with Fatima Blush. The movie keeps reminding us that she is number 12. With a little bit of therapy to control her endless pursuit of being the ‘greatest sex ever’, she would have made number 2 in no time.

She is that fantastic. Also, extremely hot. Resourceful. Like all great bond henchmen, she gets an awesome death. I mean, that’s all we want from a bond movie. A missile shooting pen that gets lodge on her blouse, and then, just explodes her right on the spot. Being James Bond, there is no blood anywhere, so dies she dies like a cartoon.

But, that’s classic James Bond.

Bikes, Jets and Shorts Wearing Sean Connery

Still Smoldering Hotness of Sean Connery

Sean Connery is a sex god, and that was perhaps the primary reason why he was chosen to play James Bond. Now, what happens when the same guy is 20 years older? Well, he is not the same. I mean, youth will always have its advantages. But, he is still every bit the ‘Men want to be him, Women want to be with him’, sort of guy.

Every bond movie will find some justification to put Connery in his undies, running around with hairy body on full display. I keep reminding myself that Tom Cruise is 60, and is probably jumping off a cliff or a motorcycle or under water or doing something equally physical and exhausting right now. Connery in his early 50s, looks damn good.

At one point, Connery actually rides a horse with Basinger in toe in a horse chase. I assumed that they would have put a stunt man to do those stunts, but, he is actually riding it.

It’s still jarring to seem him next to the super fit, always young looking Basinger, but, at least there is some story justification for her falling for Bond. I suppose, we will just have to take that. And, yes, gadgets are back. A super cool bike chase. There is that comical video game dick measuring contest between Connery and Largo.

That scene is totally lame, but I love video games and bond movies are kind of lame.

Then again, all bond movies, are sort of lame and dumb. That’s what they are.

I will take it. It’s in all in good, escapist fun. Also, floating jet packs which server no other purpose than looking cool. Connery, once again in shorty shorts.

Score

I love these one sheet posters. Also, archeology!

I am marathon watching the James Bond movies and I wish to rank them at the end. So, I came up with a numbering system. The scores for this one are here.

  1. Action and Stunts 9/9
  2. Coolness Cool 9/9
  3. Double Entendre and One Liners 9/9
  4. Hot Women 9/9
  5. Ludicrous Villainy, Cool Deaths and Traps 9/9
  6. Gadgets Man! 9/9
  7. General Awesomeness 9/9
  8. Boredom Factor 0/-9

Total : 63

Final Note

Ironically, I am happy, only one of these were made and Connery retired for good

For me, this movie is like a surprise gift. I was not happy with the final James Bond movie. Sure, this movie is a result of decades worth of lawsuits and all that business related drama, but I am glad this happened, and happened only once.

Connery is old, but, he looks happy excited, invested. It was nice to him again.

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