No Time to Die on Prime Video — Another Child?
Craig’s last movie is unable to reach the heights of Skyfall, but, at least, it’s not as bad as Quantum of Solace and Spectre.
There is so much going on here, but, ultimately, it feels like the entire movie was written with the idea to kill Bond, and then the story is developed backwards from that point. Everything possible to weaken James Bond is done here.
Once again, Bond is retired. Going back to the very first movie, Craig Bond is always an ‘unwilling’ agent of MI6. He’s constantly quitting. Then, he’s constantly coming back to work as it pleases him. I don't get this. why is MI6 being so lenient when it comes to Bond?
Bond is still crying about Vesper! Dude, it’s been so many years. She’s gone man, let it go, dude. You have a new, totally hot girlfriend with whom you are having endless unprotected sexual intercourse and making an accidental baby as well.
Let go of Vesper. Please! You have to let go man. You are not a teenager man. Anyway, Bond is saddled with a romance (and a child, what!) that will inevitably be exploited as a McGuffin plot device to ensure Bond’s death.
That’s pretty much the entire movie. Seriously.
Bond must have bedded hundreds of women, and you never see him use protection. Obviously, there must be dozens of Bond ‘children’ walking around the earth, in every continent.
The whole family angle is laughable.
Safin — The Home Alone Caliber Villain
Rami Malek has an Oscar and all that. So, he is obviously a great actor. Here though, the whole thing is sad as sack.
Instead of the traditional pre credit action extravaganza (the only saving grace of Spectre), we get a lame Safin sequence. Apparently, this young Safin is a master assassin who can kill bored, drunk unarmed women, and then, he gets defeated by a child.
Just like in Home Alone!
Somehow, we are supposed to believe that this guy, spend decades in hiding from UK government, the Spectre organization and Quantum organization.
You see a bad guy, you need to get chills. I still get shivers every time I watch the cauldron body revival scene of Voldy from Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire. Or, that jail scene from Hannibal.
But this, come on. And that climax with him wearing some kind of bath robe. And that slow speaking accent thing. It just does not work.
Paloma is Hot
Yes.
Score
I am marathon watching the James Bond movies and I wish to rank them at the end. So, I came up with a numbering system. The scores for this one are here.
- Action and Stunts 9/9
- Coolness Cool 5/9
- Double Entendre and One Liners 2/9
- Hot Women 5/9
- Ludicrous Villainy, Cool Deaths and Traps 5/9 (that balls torture scene is totally cool)
- Gadgets Man! 5/9
- General Awesomeness 5/9
- Boredom Factor -2/-9 (perfunctory action scenes)
Total : 34
Final Note
To me, Skyfall would have been the right time to say goodbye Craig Bond. The bond producers simply dragged this out for 2 more boring movies.
Also, the endless homage to On Her Majesty’s Secret Service wears out its welcome real fast. Please stop it.
And, hey, my James Bond Prime Video marathon is over. Whoa!
I work as a full-time freelance coding tutor. Hire me at UpWork or Fiverr or Stack Overflow. My personal website is here. Find more of my art at Behance and Unsplash. Also, I have a Podcast about everyday life. And, a 2nd Podcast, where I talk about freelancing.
