Paneer Butter Masala + 5 Kulchas and a friend of 17 years
Author’s note: He is leaving the country, not dying or such. Just in case this blog post starts sounding like an obituary, he he :P
circa 2001. Once again, I had got up late for the morning tution class of math. I hated getting up early in the morning. I hated attending classes and I involuntarily joined this math coaching class (I eventually dropped out after a few weeks). In a twist of fate, in recent years, I love getting up at 6 AM, and I love attending classes. Just like me, there was another dude in the class who was forced to stand outside (teachers don't like when students are late, so they make them wait outside the classroom). So, we ended up introducing each other.
Now, 17 years later, somehow, despite different lifestyles, different cities, different jobs and different attitudes toward romance, we are still friends. I just took him out for dinner (he hates paying for food outside, so I picked up the tab) after he called me out of the blue to tell me he is emigrating. He did mention that he was planning an overseas stay but now, he was ready to give dates and specifics.
As I type this, I have more than 20 to 30 work associates due to my business connections. These associates are folks with whom i interact and work with almost every week. I do okay, business relationship wise. However, when it comes to friends, I have very few friends. I can count the number of friends I have in one hand. This friend, Mr X (privacy!) is my oldest friend. I had another friend of 12 years, Ms. Y (privacy!) but she passed away in a accident (I still tear up about it after all these months, but such life. filled with sadness and joy) who is only with me in spirit.
Mr. X is the kind of person who has been my emotional backbone for all these years. I must have had dozens of fights with my parents over the years, and each time, I ended up staying over at Mr.X’s home. I declare to my own parents that they have been fired as mom and dod, Mr.X’s parents adopt me as their son for a few days, until I come to my senses, and rehire my original mom and dad back. We must have had hundreds of adventures whilst studying engineering at the same college, although we were in different classes.
Roaming around, the night before exam, looking for notes (because, if there is one thing responsible students do, is to try to find the notes of the exam, 24 hours before the exam). Getting into trouble (mostly due to female related interactions) and trying to escape from parents. Making up stories to feed each of our families to draw attention from missing almost half of college. Learning to drive a bike (after having bought) and pushing it together when we inevitably run out of fuel. Playing as each other’s wingman when courting a variety of women. Spending hundreds of hours traveling thousands of kilometers all over Mysore (also mostly in pursuit of romance).
College was so much fun, and Mr. X is responsible for atleast 25 % of that. The other 25 % is my bike friend group(5 dudes with 4 bikes, roaming around and talking non-sense). The remaining 50 % of fun were spread around various XX chromosome owning individuals on and off campus.
Of course, college ended, and with that all of this activities simply stopped. He went after a job, I went after an MBA. He would occasionally pop at my b-school. I would occasionally pop at his place. He would help me out when I run out of money (especially in my younger days). Referenced me for an employment or two (he had less office issues than I did) when I was in my ‘change jobs every six months’ phase. Then, we both had our share of personal problems. Me, more than him, primarily because of my younger self’s inability to hold my fort in job or life or anything for more than a few months. Always lending me an ear to listen and never judging me for my actions.
Over the years, our meetings have become rare and less frequent. Our life goals have become different ( I left the standard office job 7 years ago, he is still an office guy with an office job). He got married years ago, while I am still running the single life. As I grow older, I have realized how hard it is to trust people and make new relationships. The last time I made a true friend was 7 years ago (Mr. Z, privacy!) and that brings the total count of friends to 3. Mr. X (featured in this article), Mr. Y (rip) and Mr. Z (the dude from Finland).
Mr. X is leaving the country. For me, having him, here in India, was always a comfort. Like they say in the movies, a warm blanket in the cold winter. Although we met rarely, simply knowing that he was less than 24 hours away from me (all I had to do was call him, day or night, and he will show up to help me, no matter which part of the country he is in, and whichever part of the country I am calling from. he’s that kind of friend. a friend who is always there for me) allowed me to take risks, which I would not have otherwise.
When he leaves in a few months, I will miss him. Aw…man :(
